The only good masc4masc is a dead masc4masc
Gonna be another one of my rants~ so we’ll see where this goes. Also note that this is all my personal experience, and if it’s similar to yours that’s great, but if not then that’s okay too.
Basically I’ve noticed how a bunch of people want to say CAMAB trans people have experienced male socialization and CAFAB trans people have experienced female socialization.
Usually when I see this it’s when cis people say how they can’t feel safe around CAMAB trans people due to our apparent male socialization. Most commonly with trans women in an effort to find some rational for keeping trans women out of women spaces. I’ll also see this same thing used as justification for trans men to be in women’s spaces because of their apparent female socialization and ‘shared girlhood’.
Now if you’re a CAMAB trans person who feels they have had male socialization that’s fine (same with CAFAB trans people vice versa). But I really don’t like this trend of implying that all trans people experience socialization in the same way.
So now to get to the meat of this post, I’ll be talking about how I personally view my own socialization.
As a trans woman looking at any part of my socialization as ‘male’ seems bizarre and completely wrong to me. I’m female so my socialization was female. However I also don’t buy into the whole ‘shared girlhood’ nonsense since everyone is raised so differently and in so many different circumstances.
Growing up I feel everyone is bombarded with different social expectations but whether or not we actually internalize any of that depends on our own personal identities. I saw things directed at girls and women and internalized what I felt should be directed at me. The thing about my socialization though is that I feel waaaaay too many people look at socialization through entirely a cis point of view.
Imagine from a trans point of view how conflicted a little girl would be when she’s told by society that she needs to be feminine, she needs to like ‘girly’ stuff, she needs to be softspoken, etc, etc. And internalizing all that. But then having the people around you telling you that you need to be more assertive, that you can’t be feminine, that we’ll hurt you with physical violence if you are any of those ‘girly’ things. And just not getting that at all.
My socialization was a society telling me how girls and women should act but then also threatening me with violence if I did so. And this isn’t male socialization at all. This is something completely different from male socialization. This is how I was socialized as a young trans girl.
I hate that we have to talk about our socialization in cis terms. I had female socialization because I’m female. But my experiences, and my continuing experiences are not the same as a cis woman’s. Much like how any marginalized (insert adjective - trans, neuroatypical, queer, fat, etc ) woman’s experiences are not the same as a skinny, hetero, cis, white woman’s experiences. And yet we hold that as some sort of standard to measure all others. What the hell.
Let’s stop buying into this cis narrative that we have to measure our worth and our experiences by what they’ve been through.
So yeah. I definitely had female socialization. But I also had trans socialization. And queer socialization. And a huge number of other internalized socialization all intersecting with each other and making my experiences my own.
The one thing I can say I didn’t have was male socialization.
—-ahhh this was really quickly written so bare with my rantings and lack of proof reading~ Feel free to comment or reblog, but again note that this is just how I view my own experiences and how I feel cis people are pushing their narratives onto trans people.
Holy shit, this. A million times this.
Researching trans socialization stories and theories. I think trans CAMAB socializations merit a lot more attention and have more liberatory potential, but this paper I am going to analyze my own trans male socialization and its implications of privilege. Knowing the mechanisms of power recreation is useful maybe, eh? Also bull shit A
Irish wolfdogs think they are just little puppies.
Sparkling soul in a giant’s body.
This makes me happy on a subatomic level.
Omg I’ve dreamed of having an Irish Wolf Hound cuddle buddy since I was like 5!
Most people have heard of purity balls — formal events where young women pledge their abstinence to their fathers until they marry — but we had no idea that the tradition had an equivalent for young men. The difference is that Integrity balls do not involve a young boy pledging his virginity to his mother because he wants to stay virtuous. As Jessica Valenti explains to Shecter:
[Integrity balls are] not about ownership or I’m pledging my virginity to my mother or it’s important for me to wait because that makes me a virtuous man. The language was: ‘I shouldn’t have sex because that’s someone’s future wife or that’s someone’s daughter.’ So you don’t want to do damage to someone else’s property.
11 Things Everyone Should Know About Virginity Culture. (via sociolab)
Not a huge fan of valanti, but I like the quote. I grew up in an intense hetero virginity culture, ayyy
Being feminine is being desired and hated at the same time. A feminine body or mind is expected to be open and receiving to everything from others’ emotional baggage to sexual fantasies of total strangers. At the same time, receptivity (not that this defines femininity by any means) is considered weak and inferior. The result of this is often violence. Femininity is to be present for other’s needs and then destroyed for its perceived weaknesses.
Being feminine and of color is especially dangerous. Not just because we are a walking target for racist, stereotyped sexual fantasies but because so often we are blamed for being that.
Womanist Musings: Processes of Feminization: Becoming Myself (via aseanti)
I know this all too well. :( Even pre-transition, I was the person in my social groups who was always the one who had to do the emotional work with my (mostly straight cis male) friends, but it was always one way. I listened and reflected back on them, and they talked to me, but when I needed them, they thought I was being selfish and got angry at me because the default dynamic was so one-way to them they saw anything else as being unbalanced.
And it’s the same way with men now, especially white and/or cis men who fetishize me: that it’s a very one-way default thing for them, and any attempt where I try to hold a boundary or stand up for myself seems like a huge giant incursion to them because I’m supposed to be the one receiving & handling their emotional needs, desires, fantasies, etc. That’s the default dynamic in their minds, and any push back feels like I’m taking something from them. And also they’re not afraid to lash out at me because of the perceived weaknesses stated above.
I had to watch this like twelve times
That guy stole their bag or something, so he turns the corner and changes his outfit and pulls out a basketball, then pretends to be a bystander to mislead the people chasing after him
Clever little shit
I can’t stop watching this
This inspired me, a mixed state klepto
[Image: Three photos. The first shows Laverne Cox, a beautiful Black trans woman with long light colored hair seated, head tilted, across from CeCe McDonald, a beautiful Black trans woman seen from behind, as they speak. The second photo is a shot of a row of prison cells. The third is a picture of CeCe McDonald speaking with the back of Laverne Cox shown.]
FREE CECE, the new documentary with Laverne Cox, explores the roles race, class and gender played in CeCe McDonald’s case. McDonald’s claim of self defense was rejected by Hennepin County prosecutors. The documentary explores the implications of CeCe’s story as a survivor, housing trans women in male prisons, and the practice of keeping trans women in solitary confinement.
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B O O S T
WHAT WHAT WHAT???! YES